Starting fresh...

I've spent much of the last 24 hours alternating between tears, rage, and quiet resolution.

Last night, my home was broken into and the loss initially appeared to be just a handful of semi-sentimental, never worn jewellery. By morning we had figured out how they got in, and how easy it was to prevent, and I felt better. By afternoon I had crashed again.

Three days ago I got a new computer. I big heavy gaming machine. It is to replace my tired old laptop, which survived my final year of uni, my new job, my lonely Sydney nights, and the early long distance webcam days of my relationship. It was still running but just not meeting my growing needs. In the stress of the police arriving, the lock analysis, and me trying to be sure of what was taken, my concern was with the new shiny equipment, the numerous xbox consoles and media centre, and other such items which were remarkably untouched. It wasn't until the afternoon that I finally realised my old faithful laptop was not in the corner, where I had tucked it away to be backed up, wiped, and given away as a small gift. Obviously it was the best choice for a time poor criminal, they didnt have to unplug it, or find cables, it was all just neatly sitting there.

I was devastated. I cared not for the computer, but rather for what was on it, and the history it could show. Every password had to be changed, and I knew that the next 6 months would bring regular checks that my identity has not been stolen. There were many photos on there, a lot do live on Facebook, but a lot don't. Very devastating was the loss of pages of MSN conversations with my boyfriend when we were first falling for each other. And music. And of course there would be bunches of documents and other such information that was just gone. I didnt even really know just what I might have lost! Small, but important consolation was that most important letters, budget items, resumes/job applications etc were stored on a few usb sticks, not the computer at all. And my writing! I had only a few months ago transferred the new, tiny tidbits to a stick...although I may have lost some old (fairly terrible) short stories.

Just now, home alone for the first time since finding my house open and jewellery everywhere, I started reflecting. I have a new job, and am starting a new chapter of my life. Im about to finally start writing my book. I can just let it all go, and maybe I should. I have a new computer, without the burden of deciding which bits to transfer across from the old computer. If the thing I will miss most is my bookmarks, then I may just survive.

Ok I'm gonna stop writing now, I keep hearing strange noises and feeling ridiculous, have armed myself with a dirty frying pan. But as a final note, hoorah to returning to my briefly started blog! :)